Exploring the Multifaceted Mama

Posted 28 January 2009 by Kim in Pondering Life / 3 Comments

I just want to thank Flutter, Renee and Becky for their advice on yesterday’s post.  You guys really gave me the support and advice I needed and I appreciate it.  It is amazing what you can take from the points of view of three different people!

 

My “what ifs” have more to do with me personally, than the normal romantic “what ifs”.  My romantic entanglements were what they were.  All I can do is learn from them and move on and try not to make the same mistakes again.  I guess my “what ifs” are about figuring out how to feel like my own person again.  I am all for personal growth and evolving through your experiences, because without it, life becomes stagnant.  But I think somewhere along the line that is exactly what life has become for me in a lot of ways.  Don’t get me wrong; I love my husband and my kids, but I am more than a wife and mom.  This isn’t about regretting what I have and wanting something different; it is about finding myself and being able to be myself with them.  I have been whatever somebody else needed for so long that I think I have forgotten what makes me ME.

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3 responses to “Exploring the Multifaceted Mama

  1. Hunny you will find you in time I promise … I am that way right now, at a loss since now I don’t work, have fibromyalgia, and am just a wife and a mom. But I know that is what is meant to be right now so I take it. You will learn to love the you you are and that will make you complete. Don’t worry, you are there somewhere Wink

  2. Oh love i totally understand we do get lost.. Because we stop being Kiki or Paula to become my wife or mum… It’s not about that you don’t love your family at all.. I just think we come to a point in our lives when we stop and sit back and think, hellooo where am I… I wrote I post over my blog just stretching on what you wrote yesterday..

    You need to kick them all out once in a while and do something for you… once a week, once a month any time.. Try doing something you never done before or even pick up something you used to do but has got lost under the family blanket…

    In my flight to find out what I like I am going to see holiday on ice, I never done that before and I guess I am due for a little me time since I never had any since last April.. LOL!! You time, make it all about you, you you… It doesn’t matter what you do as long as its for you…

    That sound really selfish, see guilt is my biggest hang up hahahaha….

    *whispers in a haunty voice* it’s about you, you, yoooooou *to fade* hahhahahaha

    Be well love and you know you can always email me and yarn in my ear if needed…

  3. I remember going down the what if road several times. I know the Me I am today, is 90% different from the Me I was, say 9 years ago. I like almost nothing that I loved back then, and have had a hard time readjusting to the fact that I kinda miss it, but know I couldn’t stand it. Its a hard wake up call, but then I look at everything I like today and realize, I REALLY do like it.

    9 Years ago, I was a club hoping, drinking, party girl. I was 65 pounds lighter and had fun flirting with any guy that walked by and noticed me. Sounds fun, right? And I do miss it, but I know I can’t stand the thought of going into a club any more, and the only man I want to flirt with is my husband…

    The more I start the what if game with myself about who I am, is the day I kick the kids out of a room of the house and call it MINE for the day. I do whatever I want, be it a craft (ignoring the “can we craft with you”), reading, drawing, listening to music, or dancing… I have even just sat with all the lights off, candles lit and a bottle of wine. During this Me time, I think about everything that brought me to the me I am. I realize, I didn’t make a mistake, or change my colors, or change me, Me just evolved into someone I kinda like better.

    You know, I can never remember what realm you play on, but if you are ever on Kilrog, Find Nitashie (Alliance) or Ninn(horde). Maybe we can have fun playing sometime…

    ::hugs::