Jaded

Sometimes it just shocks me, how cruel people can be to one another.  And how publically it's carried out.  I guess I am old school, but I was always taught that there is a time and place for everything.  

I love my Facebook, absolutely.  Thanks to years in the Army, I have friends all over the world.  Years of blogging and being active in the pixel community brought me more friends from all over the world.  Most of my friends are parents, with busy lives.  Facebook makes it infinitely easier to stay in touch, convenient in every way.  I love that.  But there are times when the negativity that I see on my wall is unbelievable.  I am not talking about vents about a bad day or situation.  Those are perfectly natural to share with your friends.  I am talking about marital spats, things that seem a wee bit TMI to me.  And why would you want that out there?  It can get uncomfortable as a third party.  It's a lot like being stuck in that awkward position of having a couple standing right in front of you, arguing.  REALLY arguing.  Its even worse when you are "friends" with both of them.  It just seems like there are some things that just don't belong on Facebook.  

I know I could unfriend, but I have a complex about that.  There is so much drama on Facebook, and I am allergic to it.  There are days when the ignorance that flows down my wall kills me.  I have, in the past, unfriended people and had them confront me about it.  It was aggressive and totally awkward.  And the crap I got for it made the unfriending worse than seeing all the drama.  There are days when I almost wish I didn't have Facebook at all.

I guess the whole cruelty of people thing has been on my mind a lot lately.  It just seems to be running rampant and it is tiring to never see anything else  The way people treat each other can be disgusting sometimes.  I have had more than my fair share of being treated like crap this past few years and it is catching up to me.  One-sided friendships have taken their toll on me.  I have taken a good, hard look at my friends, online and off and realized that there are a good portion of them that aren't really my friends at all.  Friends don't take, take, take and give nothing back, even an ear.  Friends don't ignore you until they need something.  Friends don't give you hell when you are swamped with life and know that you aren't dissing them.  Friends don't drop you like a bad habit when they no longer need you.

I'm jaded and bitter, and it has changed me.  I am not sure I like that.  I am far more closed off than I used to be, just because it is so discouraging to be used and made to feel worthless.  I have some big htings going on in my life, and there are very few that really know the depth of it because they don't look beyond their own lives.  But it makes me love the ones that do care that much more.