I am so glad this week is coming to an end. Some of it has been pretty great, some of it pretty negative, all of it crazy busy.
Lessons were learned this week, and not all of those lessons were all that uplifting. A lot of the lessons just served to confirm that which my Inner Cynic already believes, that sometimes it just doesn't pay to stand up for yourself and/or something you believe in. I have had some passive-agressive, indirect fallout this week in part because of my blog, and in part because I spoke up about something I believe in. It has bothered me more than I would like to admit. But this blog is my own. It is my therapy, my feelings, my experiences, my journey. It is not about hurting anyone, but about working my own way through things. In reality, as I said in one of my posts this week, I think the person in question is a person with a big heart that would never intentionally hurt someone. I truly believe that. My writing about the situation was about exploring an issue that I see out there all the time, not just in this single circumstance. Judgments and just how hurtful and hard they can be. We all do it, whether we intend to or not. The lesson is that we should all be more mindful of it, especially on the net, which makes it so much easier to say something that you would never say to someone face to face. In the end, after the fallout, I was left feeling like I was nothing. I felt judged unfairly. It was made clear to me that my feelings didn't matter. Instead, somehow I became the bad guy, put out there in a pretty aggressive way. And that's what made it stick with me. It felt unfair and unjust.
But it is over now, pretty definitively. I believe that there is something to be learned from every experience. And the realitiy is that not every lesson learned is going to be positive. That is something else I have learned on this journey, that it comes at a cost sometimes. And sometimes that cost is a friendship.
But, on the flip side, it definitely illuminated the value of true friendships, new and old. It also taught me the value of just letting go. After years of being a doormat, letting go of the anger and resentment isn't easy for me. Sometimes it is just the principle of the matter, but it still needs to go in order to make room for the good. It hurts to be judged and it hurts to be vilified for standing up for yourself. But it is my right to do so. So it is what it is.
A little Joy jamming on a Friday is a good thing! The host blog's Joy Jam today is pretty uplifting, in the wake of Hurricane Sandy, too.
♥ Life lessons. Yes, even the bad ones. All lessons have value, one way or another.
♥ True and wonderful friends. What more needs to be said?
♥ The little things. Sometimes it is the littlest of things that make my soul sing. The little kindnesses, the kind that make you feel like you matter!