That was my reaction upon discovering a piece of news.
The back story…
I was talking about bullying among kids with my friend Kevin and I told him a bit about our brush with it. Ours took place before we left NY, from about September of 2011 to May of 2012. There was another Army family down the street, with a son about Ty's age and a daughter about 2 or 3 years older than Scott. Our problems started with the son (D) and Ty. He was a snotty little 6yo at the time, but worse than that, he was violent. It came to a head when he shanked Ty with an open paper clip, resulting in an ER trip and stitches. The family was new in the complex and no one knew them or which apartment was theirs. I went to the main office and they refused to do anything. I got Ty moved on the bus and the physical crap stopped, although there was still some occasional verbal BS.
Skipping ahead a few weeks, Scott, then 9, came home from the playground to tell me that some mother was talking about kinky sex stuff to him and asking him stuff. I went batshit crazy. He didn't know who she was and by the time I got there, she was gone. It was several weeks later that I realized that she was the mother of D, the 6yo shanker. Scott knew her daughter (M) from the playground and neighborhood. At this point, we held senority in residence, having been in the place for several years. The kids there always played together and had different places in the complex that they would all go. Well, M came in and all that started to change. She became in charge and began to order all the other kids around. The younger ones fell under her thumb quickly because they were too frightened to argue. Scott, however, is my boy, through and through, and refused to allow her to tell him who he could be friends with and where he could go. That was MY job, in his eyes, because I'm his mama, not her. You didn't cross M. She refused to let him play unattacked where he wanted, even pushing him out of his own fort in the woods. It got bad. Then one day, she and her posse went after Scott and Ty with metal rakes and pipes. Oh, HELL, no!!! I went down the street to talk to her, finally having figured out where she lived. Her husband, an Army specialist, broke a beer bottle and came after me. I called the cops. They and their neighbor (who was their friend and witness to this) lied about it and, without evidence, nothing was done.
From that point on, it went to hell. M got progressively more violent, to the point that if she even saw Scott from a distance, it was on. One night, he was at the playground and I heard screaming. I ran to the door as he was tearing at me. Right behind him was this girl, with a metal pipe. He got inside and she came after me. The neighbor came running after her, the same douche bag who lied to the cops, obstensibly to make sure M didn't hurt anyone. She didn't; she ran when she realized he was behind her. Moments later, her mother, Bully Mama, came down and got in my face. Yeah, I don't think so. To say I got all protective Mama Bear with a side of white trash would be an understatment. At a look from me, my neighbor called the cops and she was cited for disturbing the peace and told to stay away.
At this point, Scott and Ty went nowhere but our little front yard, no way for a boy to live, as prisoners. We didn't leave after dark and we were careful. When M couldn't get to Scott physically, she lied about it to her mother, telling all kinds of outrageous lies. And down Bully Mama came to get in my face. Well, anyone who knows me knows I don't play. I may be fluffy but I can and will take your ass out. In a heartbeat. And I can get white trash as all hell when need be. It got real and it got bad. M attacked me, my house, and my truck a bunch of times, with pipes, rocks, bats, whatever. I was in and out of court with these people, called the husband's command. Bully Mama was in my face all the time. That bitch blew hot and cold, crazy and insane. In a sane moment she eventually told me that M almost killed a kid at their last duty assignment and she was afraid she'd kill Scott or me. Apparently M has SEVERE rage issues, diagnosed as a sociopath and bipolar. She also refused to seek treatment or meds for her, or take any preventative measures. Instead, she said, it was my responsibility to walk on eggshells around her. No, it was HER responsibility to care for her child properly. I had the utmost of sympathy for her situation and that M could be a handful, but that sympathy has limits and if you know that your kid is a danger and you do nothing? Then there is no sympathy. And when she blew crazy, she was in my face, threatening me, sending her neighbor man and husband to scare me, both of whom got physical with me. It didn't work too well because I took them both out in self-defense. They all thought they could scare me because I was alone, with Corey deployed in Afghanistan. They were wrong. I was PISSED!
This is the short and light version of 16 months of hell. Bottom line I was in and out of court and dealing with his command, trying to protect us. I had restraining orders out the ass and she got arrested a few times, got community service. The cops got CPS involved but nobody would do much because they felt that it wasn't child neglect/abuse to not medicate your kid. I agree with that, but I still feel like something could and should have been done, a PINS petition or the like.
And then today, after talking with Kevin, I Googled the Mama. I do that from time to time, just trying to make sure they aren't stationed near me. They sure aren't. Because she was arrested at the beginning of August. For 1st degree murder and conspiracy to commit murder. What the effing hell?! Here are some links:
- Court Documents: Ft. Eustis wife was ‘stabbed repeatedly in the face’ → good video with text
- Update: Fort Eustis soldier confesses to plotting with mistress to murder wife → jailhouse interview with her co-defendent
- Husband and mistress charged in wife's homicide → another video and article
- Duo Accused in Seasons Trace Killing Receive Court-Appointed Lawyers → article
Holy shit. I feel lucky to be alive if this is what happens when you piss this bitch off.
I've been reflecting a lot on this whole Bully Mama Murderess thing this afternoon and a couple things occurred to me. The first is that I am lucky. Pretty quickly, the daughter's bullying of Scott was shut down because this Mama takes no crap when it comes to her kids. But my presence and refusal to be intimidated made me a target. She attacked me, threatened me, etc. I guess I feel that I am lucky that she didn't try anything else on me.
And second, I guess I feel lthat if I could have gotten anything done when this was happening to me, this poor woman would be alive. Bless you, Dana…