As I enter Cronehood, I’m truly feeling the lack of female elders in my immediate family. My maternal grandmother died when I was just 16, my paternal grandmother when I was 37, and my mom when I was 44. And not one of them entered this phase without surgical help, unlike me.
At the bright young age of 53, I’m finally in the very early days of perimenopause, and each day is a fun and exciting adventure into “what new symptom can I experience?” What’s highly ironic is that I’m also taking prenatals, per doctor’s orders. Let’s rate my symptoms, shall we?
Scale: 1/I’ve dealt with worse | meh/ a solid 5 | 10/ I hate my life.
- irregular moon times: meh. I’ve had that since I started at the very young age of 9. Actually, it started the day before I turned 9, but why quibble? What is new is that they last longer than my usual 48-72 hours, and they’ve gained weight. But who hasn’t?
- weight gain: meh. Who knows if this is happening? I’ve had some weight issues due to other stuff, and I haven’t had a lot of marked increase.
- difficulty losing weight: 10. No matter what I do, or what I eat, my fluff wants to stay. But is that due to impending Cronehood? Maybe a little, but I have other things that probably contribute as much or more.
- hot flashes: meh. Mine are lame and come mostly at night. I haven’t had one even close to the ones my mom had, when she’d strip to as little clothing as she could legally get away with and run out into the river or snow, season permitting.
- sleep disturbance: 10. I’ve never been a great sleeper, but it’s gotten worse. The occasional hot flash and a couple other symptoms to come on this list. I’m a tired Kim 90% of the time.
- brain fog: 10. Of course, some of this is due to post-COVID POTS, but I think my Cronehood is exacerbating it a little.
- mood changes: meh. I’ve never been prone to sadness or irritability except when it’s situational. Not so much now. Too often, I’m having moments of inexplicable sadness. That’s really fun.
- increased sense of smell/hearing: 10. I think my family thinks I’m losing it. I’m not. I have friends who deal with the same thing!
- skin changes: 10. We won’t even go into the shit show of my skin. Let’s just say it’s an effing delight to deal with.
- itchy or crawling skin. 10 each. This is the worst of them all, helping the whole sleep disturbance thing. It gets so bad sometimes that I want to scream. And it’s worst when I’m trying to fall asleep. It’s enough to drive me batshit crazy.
- sore mama melons: meh. This one comes and goes, but when it’s there, it’s THERE! OMG, the pain.
I’m quite certain I’m missing a few, but I refer you back to #6.
Verdict: Ladyhood is fraught with fun. Good times.
What fun symptoms do you have, my friends?
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