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1. anxiety for nothing

I had my weekly wound care appointment on Monday, certain the infection in my scar was back. It wasn’t. As a result… no debriding! The feeling of instant relief was overwhelming, and I was on the verge of tears with it!

2. the downside of relief

I immediately felt like I could wrestle a bear and win. I’m one of those people who starts to feel better and decides that I’m fully recovered, so that’s a dangerous mindset for me. So I forcibly reminded myself I was a work in progress, healing wise. However, I managed to delude myself with health nonetheless. Somehow, I managed to convince myself that the twice-daily mini-debridements that Corey performs wouldn’t hurt. Reality was a slap in the face, and I immediate felt demoralized. So yeah, still hurts like a mother effer.

3. first post-surgery appointment

I had that yesterday, and all my blood tests came back well, with the exception of my hemoglobin and platelets. The former is low and the latter is high, which makes sense together as I’m anemic, a lifetime thing. So still no answers to be found there as to why the pulmonary embolism. Next up is a combo colonoscopy/upper endoscopy for the off-chance of an unknown cancer. Nothing terrifying about that. That’s coming at the end of December, all part of the answer-finding mission, even though I have zero signs of either. It could be I may never find the answers. That’s just the way it is for some people. Blood thinners for life!

4. the soundtrack of my twice-daily incision care

First, it was my true-crime podcasts, but I can’t endure pain of that level and pay attention. So then it went to random music. But then I watched Pitch Perfect on TV, and my hubby bopped through the room, singing the songs. I have the soundtrack, so that’s our background music now. I get a little song and dance with my pain, so there’s that.

5. how I want a bath

I’m not saying I’m not currently cleansing. I am. I’m just restricted to a shower until my incision fully closes. But, man oh man, am I dreaming of a bath. A hot one. With scented lotions and potions, which I’m also currently banned from. With music and a book. With a face mask. Ah, the luxury of it. A girl can dream.

6. double the coffee

I ask the important questions at my appointments, this time about my caffeinated coffee intake. I’ve been restricted to one regular-sized mug a day. I’m now up to two! This brings me joy, although I have adapted to decaf.

and some non-pulmonary-embolism-and-post-open-heart-surgery tidbits

7. nighttime YouTube watching

I’ve become obsessed with Solo Solo Travel. He’s a Japanese guy who goes on all kinds of travel experiences, mostly within Japan but also internationally. There’s no voiceover, just caption commentary which I find endearingly funny. He’s on my must-watch-before-sleeping list.

8. the gnomes have begun

Currently, I’m working on PamPino Crochet’s Christmas Reindeer gnome. I’ve got the body and the nose done, and I’m working on his first arm. I did a different reindeer last year, this one here. This year’s a simpler one, but adorable.

9. the Rangers have started to win again

Two whole games in a row. The first was a home game on Monday, with a score of 6-3 over the Nashville Predators. This is doubly significant. The first… it’s the first home game they’ve won this season. The second… it’s the first time any goals at all have been scored at home. That’s right… every previous home game was a shutout for the other team. Disgraceful! They followed it up yesterday with a 7-3 win over the Tampa Bay Lightning at their arena. So, yay!

10. dot grid notebooks

Why is it so hard to find a reasonably priced plain old dot grid with a decent amount of pages in a size bigger than A5? I like a B5, roughly the size of a composition notebook, but they are hard to find. At any price, really. Most readymade planners just don’t work for me, and I refuse to pay $60+ for a custom one. But most of the B5s I found that would work cost so much that it sort of precludes my intention to be low-cost. So I gave in and got an A5 for 2026, but a thick one with more than average pages. Hopefully, I can make that work for me.

11. my Razer cooling mat is too efficient

My laptop is an ASUS ROG (Republic of Gamers), and that bad boy gets HOT when I’m gaming. Like sometimes painfully so on the keyboard. The last cooling mat I had was a true piece of fecal matter. It was one of two I bought, one for me and one for Man Child #3. His was fine. Mine sucked all the things. 90% of the time, it sounded as if I had an airplane in front of me, taxiing down a runway and taking off. It was so damned loud and rattley that I wanted to throw it against the wall. Nor did it cool all that well. So the hubs went on the hunt for a better one and ended up going overboard with a Razer one, one with all the colorful bells and whistles. But I love it. BUT it is so efficient that the keyboard gets fully cold to the touch, and it blows enough air that both my wrists and my stomach get cold. Still better than burning, however.

12. Razer for the win

I also have the Kraken kitty headphones in pink with the matching ears that match my gaming chair. I’m bougie, I know. But I work from home, and I have a bad back, so comfort is key. I’m not ashamed of my kitty ears. I have a bluetooth set, too, with Hello Kitty that I wear with my phone and Kindle, and I love them. Still no shame. Razer makes the few headphones I can wear that don’t give me massive headaches, so it’s worth the extra.

13. holiday reading in the works

I usually don’t start my holiday reading until after Halloween, but I started early this year. I needed the comfort. I’ve read seven and am on my eight since the middle of October. With several on the shelf to go!