Tales from the Life of the Multifaceted Mama

reading time: 3 minutes

The story opens with an early morning trip to an elementary school.  The Multifaceted Mama has to be there at 0720 for back to back parent-teacher conferences for her sons, Scott and Ty.  The meetings were set at this too early hour because the previous scheduled meetings had to be postponed due to a bout of the blahs by the Mama.  The Mama was running late that morning so she attended these meetings with having been fueled by the blood of life, aka coffee. 

Upon return to her domestic arena, the Mama began to suck down the coffee, truly wishing she could just inject via IV.  By the time the phone rang at 1245, she was fueled.  It was the school nurse from the very school that she had been at just hours ago.  Apparently, the Mama’s youngest son, in the midst of their annual Thanksgiving, decided to hurl.  So the Mama went to the school, armed with a bucket for the ride home, and picked him up.  He came home and spend the rest of the day in a pile of blankets watching ‘toons.

The next day came, and Ty stayed home while his brothers were woken up at ungodly hours and sent off to school to better themselves.  The day went off without a hitch, and without any more hurl.  Everyone was happy.  Everyone went to bed.  At about 0130, the Mama fell asleep.  At 0133, the Mama was woken up by Ka’lani.  Ka’lani had decided he wanted to vomit violently, all over the bathroom floor.

A bucket was grabbed, the floor cleaned, and Donovan awakened and moved to the Mama’s bed, so that the Mama could take Puke Boy to the ER.  After 1 liter of fluids and some Zofran, several vials of blood drawn, a cup full of pee, and 4 hours in the ER, the Mama and Ka’lani were sent home.  Sensing a pattern, the Mama kept all the children home that Friday.  Ka’lani hibernated in his room, armed with an iPod, and a stack of magazines and books.  Everyone else seemed to be fine, including the previously ill boy, Ty.

Around 9:00 that evening, Ty stood before his Mama with his hand outstretched.  On his palm lay a shining tooth,  His mouth full of blood, he grinned like a vampire.  His first tooth!  Not a half hour later, there was the unpleasant sound of a geyser coming from the playroom.  It was Ty, who had vomited at least twice his body weight.  Clean up was involved, and so was another trip to the ER.  Poor Donovan volunteered for playroom clean up duty, and I am still questioning the wisdom of that decision.  I was left to stick Ty in the shower and rinse him off, changing him into clean sweats.  My job was easier.  So, bucket in hand, we were off for the second night in a row to our local ER.

Young Master Ty thought it was cool, however, that on the stretcher next to him in the ER was a dude handcuffed to the bed with two Corrections Officers.  The Mama thought that was less cool.  Anyway, no IVs were needed, but Zofran was.  The Mama and Ty were released and sent home to sleep.

By midnight Friday night, however, the Mama was stricken with pains underneath her breasts that lasted until about 0300.  It ran from side to side and doubled her over.  Still not a clue what caused that, but there seem to be no remaining issues.  The rest of the night passed without incident.  Until the Mama woke up and heard Scotty hurling in the bathroom.  Apparently, he had been engaging in that activity for some time, but for some unknown reason, had not thought to wake up the Mama.  By that time, the flow was ebbing so he escaped a trip to the ER. 

Now, he is the only one left, the Mama and Donovan having escaped the tide of barf.  Yippee.

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