I have been thinking a lot about negativity lately, and how much of it there is out there. While I would love some peace, love, and happiness, I am not so fluffy bunny as to think that this is ever really going to happen. There are different kinds of negativity out there, some of which is totally normal and even healthy. If life was perfect all the time, we would lose the ability to see it that way and it would become less perfect. With the good comes the bad, and that is how it should be. But I guess it is the level and kind of negativity that matters.
I have spent my llife trying to see the best in others, and it is a trait I have always thought was a good one to have. But it is also one that has often led me to hurt, pain, and betrayal. It is one that can turn a well-meaning person into nothing more than a doormat. How many chances does a person get before you reach the point that you just have to cut the ties that hold you to them? This question is one I have asked myself over and over again, and I have no good answer. I have ties in my life that I really should cut, but it is so hard to do. At least it is for me. I hate hurting feelings and I am always afraid of doing that. But the very same people that I need to cut away from? I am not always certain they even really know I exist, outside of when they need me, so why am I so worried about it??!
Some of it is because I don't want the possible drama that comes from distancing myself. It seems like, although they ignore me until they need something, the thought that that might not be acceptable to me is offensive.