10.17.2012 | Wednesday

Making wishes on a Wednesday

category: Memetastic, Pondering Life
tag(s): ,

reading time: 2 minutes

It's been awhile since I have "wishcast" but today's prompt is a good one, and an important one.  Today's Wishcasting is about expressing yourself, and just what it is that you want to express.  There are a lot of things I want to express.  My feelings, my soul, my creativity, my story.  

But the real question is what do I really need and want to express?

♥  Me.  The real me.  The wild me.  The authentic me.  The me I used to be.  Not the me that everyone else thinks I should be.  Not the boxed up, socially acceptable, conformist me.  ♥

That's it.  That's what I wish for.  It sounds like a small thing, but it isn't.  Not for me.  The last several days have been a bit of a spiritual journey for me.  I have been doing a lot of thinking lately about just this sort of thing.  What is it that stopped me from living like that?  There are a lot of reasons, a lot of situations and experiences.  And they all seem to have come from outside of myself.  People telling me just how I am "supposed" to be.  How I am "supposed" to feel, to think, to dress, to act.  To not go overboard.  To not stand out.  

I have never been one to give a damn about what people think of me, but at some level, other people's expectations clearly molded me without my realizing it.  When did I start to care how other's saw me?  I have no idea, because I truly didn't think I did.  But I look at the changes from Wild and Free Kim to the Kim of now and it seems to be there.  Yes, I sport hot pink hair at the ripe old age of 42 and that makes me stand out on an Army base, especially when one is both a veteran and the wife of a senior NCO.  But that's just hair.  Being wild and free comes from the heart and soul.  Why should I be afraid to let that shine through?  That's just BS!  And I have no room in my life for that.

So that's my wish… to express ME, the real me.  The wild and free me.

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