9.7.2023 | Thursday

thursday 13: bizarre urban legends/conspiracy theories

category: Memetastic
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reading time: 4 minutes
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Where the lines are blurred between fact and fiction…

1. The 27 Club

The 27 Club is a cultural phenomenon that suggests that a statistically high number of artists, actors, musicians, and other celebrities die at the age of 27. The coincidence was first noticed in the early 1970s after several popular musicians died between 1969 and 1971. Among others, Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin, Jim Morrison, and Brian Jones all died within this time frame. But it really became part of the zeitgeist with Kurt Cobain’s death in 1994. However, there are many celebs both before and since that time. A few others: Anton Yelchin, Amy Winehouse, Freaky Tah, Sahara Davenport, Yung Trappa.

2. King Charles is a vampire.

Weirdly, this one has some “truth” in it. In fact, the King apparently is related to Vlad III, more commonly known as Vlad the Impaler, the inspiration for Bram Stoker’s Dracula. And there are many within the bloodline that have porphyria, an iron deficiency that creates a sensitivity to light.

3. The red pill or the blue…

There are those that believe that we exist within a simulation, “supported” by admittedly bizare coincidences/happenings. Believers say these things are a glitch in the matrix. There are scientists, such as Neil deGrasse Tyson, who actually do lend credence to some parts of simulation theory. Some of the examples believers provide are: the Mandela Effect, the sucessful embedding of computer code into DNA in 2017, the Goldilocks Zone.

4. Bill Gates makes snow.

In 2021, a viral conspiracy swept social media, alleging that the extreme weather conditions across the US were caused by Bill Gates. They believed that he created a fake snow that actually burns rather than melts. There were videos showing lighters setting snow on fire. However, there are scientific explanations for the phenomenon. One, it doesn’t look as if it’s dripping because snow is porous, therefore absorbing the water. Two, the so-called scorch marks and plasticy smell is due to the fuel in lighters, butane. In addition, the “scorch marks” are actually just soot adhering to the wet snow.

5. Queen Elizabeth I was a man.

Once upon a time, it was suggested that Queen Elizabeth I had died when she was young and subsequently replaced by a boy who looked similar to her. It was the “only” explanation as to why the queen was a strong ruler. Because a woman couldn’t possibly be strong. Just another case of misogyny.

6. Katy Perry is actually JonBenét Ramsey.

The theory is that JonBenét was “sacrificed” in name only for the sole purpose of allowing Katy Perry The Singer to arise. A “murder” of greed and ambition. It is “supported” by the belief that the Ramseys look very much like Katy Perry’s “reported” parents, Keith and Mary. Ooookay.

7. Stephen King murdered Lennon.

Let’s get into it. Supposedly, King was ordered by Nixon and Reagan to assassinate John Lennon. The claim is that the two men wanted Lennon’s anti-war rhetoric squashed and so hired King, who they believe looks much like Mark David Chapman, to carry out the assassination. Uh huh.

8. Taylor Swift is a clone… of a Satanic priestess.

This is based solely on the fact that TayTay looks a lot like Zeena LaVey did back in the 1980s. Zeena is the daughter of famed Satanist Anton LaVey, although she’s long since renounced her father’s Satanism. The theory suggests Taylor is either a clone of Zeena created by the Illuminati or she is the reincarnation of Zeena. Problem… Zeen is not dead.

9. Queen Elizabeth I was also William Shakespeare.

See #5. Not just any man was the Queen, huh? The theory is that the Queen was well known to write poetry, and she was extremely well educated. Whereas, the Bard had significantly less. Nor would he have had the knowledge of the Court to be able to write about it.

10. Redheads are genetically alien.

Redheads are genetically different. This has been scientifically proven. Gingers experience pain differently. In general, their tolerance is higher. But when it comes to painkillers and anesthesia, the drugs are generally less effective, and therefore more is needed. (I can personally attest to the pain aspect, as a redhead.) In addition, redheads are more prone to some diseases. All of this can be explained by science, but there are those that attribute our genetic differences as being alien. Worse… we’re descended from aliens who were rejected from their home planets. Herumpf.

11. The Earth is hollow and inhabited by Vikings and Nazis.

In this theory, the Earth is hollow and accessible through two portals, one on each of the poles. Inside are colonies of the aforementioned Vikings and Nazis. I’m gonna guess the Hollow Earth crowd and the Flat Earthers aren’t buddies.

12. The Berenstain Bears are from an alternate universe.

Many people, myself included, remember them not as “Berenstain” but as “Berenstein.” But “Berenstain” is actually correct. However, there are many who are so certain their memories are correct that they have become convinced that they have somehow crossed over into this universe from an alternate one where the Berenstein Bears existed. Alrighty, then.

13. The movie Frozen was a Disney distraction.

The theory is that Disney created this movie as a way to mess with Google’s search algorithm. Why, you might ask? Well, there’s been a long-standing other Disney-related conspiracy theory… that Walt Disney had himself cryogenically frozen at death, disputed forever by the Disney family. Therefore, Disney puported to usurp searches for the cryogenics stuff with the movie. A distraction for consumers.

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