8.17.2009 | Monday

Has Hell frozen over?!

category: Family Stuff

reading time: 2 minutes

So the weirdness began when I started seeing my ex-husband’s name and picture start popping up on my “suggested friends” section of my Facebook profile a few weeks ago.  Considering that the last time I spoke to him was spring/summer of 2000, it was a little unnerving.  At the time we had zero mutual friends, although a couple of my friends on there knew him back in a day from Hawaii.  So I have no idea how, out of the millions of users out there, Facebook got him connected to me.  Then I got a friend request from his youngest sister, since I had not seen in about 12+ year, and who was in single digits the last time I did see her.  So I pondered her request for a few days, asked for some advice and finally decided to extend the olive branch.  After all, she wasn’t to blame for the situation; she was just guilty by association, being his sister. 

A few days after confirming her, I really felt that I should let him know that she had friended me and see if that was okay with him.  Let’s face it; the situation is more than a little awkward.  We have a child together, one that has been out of his life for most of that child’s life.  Our marriage ended because of a lot of infidelty on his part.  Not exactly ideal breeding ground for good feelings, although there was a time during the divorce process that we were almost friends.  But that was also 9 years ago.  So, I got brave, sent him a message and let him know.  I didn’t know if he would even acknowledge my note, but I felt that the right thing to do was tell him.  Imagine my surprise, when not only did he respond, but he was nice about it!  And somehow, unbelievably, over the course of the last few days, we have talking back and forth and been almost friends again.  And, yes, Corey knows all about it and is fully accepting. 

Yeah, there is some awkwardness and there is definately that elephant in the room that just hasn’t been acknowledged yet, but that is okay.  The situation is what it is and it is kind of a new thing for both of us.  It is enough to be friendly.  Hate and anger takes WAY too much energy.  And, really, despite the anger and hurt that I felt back then, I never really hated him, although it probably would have made it easier if I had!

So, I think Hell must have frozen over, because just 2 weeks ago, I would never imagine that I would ever even speak to him again, much less have it be so civilized.  But, hey, maybe I am a grownup after all!

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