7.6.2011 | Wednesday

Hair goo + shower caps = Sexy Mama

category: Mama Drama
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reading time: 2 minutes

I’m telling you, sometimes it is terribly hard to manage all the sexiness that is me.  It’s a burden, but a burden I have to bear nonetheless.  This morning, I woke up refreshed after about 7 hours of good sleep after 48 hours running on about 30 minutes of sleep.  The husband is on a plane headed back to Afghanistan, the smelly monkeys the ankle biters the children all still sound asleep and therefore mercifully silent in their neverending needs.  So I did what every overworked, underpaid, and underappreciated mother of 5 4 children should do.  I decided to pamper myself.

My hair is in a period of revolt.  Revolt against me.  Really, it has a point.  I have abused it in my quest to be a non-cookie cutter, non-soccer mom.  Let’s just say that Manic Panic Flash Lightning is no longer allowed within six feet of my head without it coming to life and screaming in denial.  Of course, no one else can hear it so they just look at me like I have finally gone around the bend when I attempt to coerce my hair into accepting it.  So in an attempt to make things right with my angry hair, I bought some lovely Moroccan argan oil cream treatment.  It involves liberal slathering through my hair and the addition of a very lovely clear shower cap over it.  Combined with my bleary, fresh from sleep red eyes, I realized just how stunning I really was as I gazed upon myself in the mirror.

But not stunning enough.  So I dug out a packet of my favorite dark chocolate mousse face mask and slathered up.  God, I was sexy.  And then it was time to go make some blood of life coffee.  As I stood at the sink, filling the pot with water, I noticed my neighbor outside my kitchen window, walking his dog.  Being the friendly, gorgeous girl that I am, I knocked on the window and eaved.  The look of shock that spread across his face was intense, as was the palpable awkwardness that followed as he backed away from the window.  Confused, I finished making coffee.  It was several moments later, when passing a framed print and catching a reflection of myself, that I remembered just how gorgeous I was at that moment.  Oops.

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