10.5.2012 | Friday

Crossroads & babies

category: Wild Woman
tag(s): ,

reading time: 2 minutes

My card of the day scared me a bit today.  But, as in all things tarot and oracle, one can not take a death card literally!  Fortunately!  I have had more than enough of death and loss over the last several years, and I don't need any more of that right now.

The Angel de los Muertos is a compassionate angel, charged with gathering souls whose time has come and helping them rest.  She is also charged with removing the fear of death and mortality.  She also bridges the gap between those here and those who have passed.  Her gift is to pass on the wisdom of one's ancestors to those who need it in this realm.  

But she isn't just about death and the dead.  She is a reminder that you don't have to pass on in order to be "reborn".  Life is constantly changing, and she is the crossroads at which you can change your life.  This is the part that most applies to me.  That is where I am right now, a crossroads.  I know what direction what I want to go, but I am not having the easiest time getting there.  

My friend Renee always tells me that all I have to do is listen and look.  Not to those around me, but to the things the universe is trying to tell me.  I was listening, and then I stopped.  And she is right, if I listen, I will find the anwers I need.  And in the most unexpected of places.  But this card is a wakeup call.  I'm still alive so the possibility of change is still there.  Give up and I can be assured I will never get where I want to be,  So that tells me that I need to somehow find away to get past the crap and get on with it.

(card from From the Oracle of Shadows & Light)

I read a post today by Dominee of Blessing Manifesting, about her choice to not have children.  Clearly I am on the polar opposite of the child path, considering I am mama to 4 boys, but there was much in what she wrote that resonated with me.  Her reasons for her choice are valid and true, and I love that she is so honest to share a choice that isn't always popular.  I adore my kidlets and I will never regret the paths that led me to them, but there are things about myself that I lost along the way.  That is inevitable, and that's okay.  But there are definitely times when I miss some of those things.  As much as I want to recapture some of the spirit of who I used to be, I sometimes wonder if it is too late.  So much of my life I have spent living for someone else, so much that I sometimes forget who and what I am.  It is easy to get lost in the day to day of life and forget.  

Every now and then I come across someone from my past, or I have a memory, and I remember.  Sometimes it's hard to reconcile who I was with who I am.  Which is weird, because as I look back, I didn't share a whole lot of that with the outside world.  But maybe it's time that changes.

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