9.18.2009 | Friday

Yard apes, man parts, & memes

category: Kid Tales, Memetastic
tag(s): ,

reading time: 4 minutes

Ah, germs!
You can tell that the school year has begun!  So far, in just 1 day over 2 weeks since school began, Ty is on his second missed day and Scott hasn’t been to school since Tuesday!  Ty was out last week for a stomach bug, Scott is out for his viral and respiratory infections, and now Ty is out for, well, um, penile issues.  Penile issues that I know absolutely nothing about.  Given that I am the mother of 4 boys, you wouldn’t think I would come across such issues and not have a clue!  I noticed yesterday morning that his,… um,… morning wood, was a little longer lasting than usual.  Enough so that clearly it annoyed him, as he kept pushing at it as if that would make it go away.  He was unsuccessful and it left him with pee pee pain, to quote him.  By the time he got home from school, it was clear that he was suffering from continued penile issues.  He changed out of his school clothes into “home” clothes and came back out to talk to Scott.  As he stood there, I watched him drop trou and start digging with his goods all out and hanging in the wind.  I told him to stop and he wailed most convincingly that his pee pee was bad!  Uh, what?  Upon further investigation, I discovered that the entire underside of the shaft from just below the head all the way to the root and down onto his testicles where it rests is raw, very raw.  I slathered on some Neosporin with pain relief and changed him into loose boxer briefs as opposed to the tighty-Shrekkies he was wearing.  He was digging all night, so I opted to keep him home, rather than have him digging at his cojones all day at school!  My dilemma is that I have no idea what caused it and what to do about it and can’t get an appointment at the docs.  Any help would be appreciated!


What’s it take?

1.  What does it take to get you to grab the mic and sing in a karaoke room?
A whole lot of alcohol and large sums of money!

2.  What does it take to get you to give up a whole Saturday to hang out with people you don’t like?
It depends on the situation, but I would do it without qualms if there was a reason for it!

3.  What does it take to get you out of bed without your hitting the snooze button?
It doesn’t take anything to get me out of bed.  As soon as that alarm goes off, I am up and at it.

4.  What does it take to get you to take someone else’s turn at a really unpleasant task at work or home?
I’m a stay-at-home mom to four boys so that is pretty much an everyday occurence around here!

5.  What does it take to get you to eat something you really dislike?
That also depends on the situation, but if I am at someone’s house for dinner, I will eat it and act like I love it!
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The frustrations of children,…
My frustration this week is definately child-centered!  Yesterday, Scott was in rare form.  It started from the moment he got up and showered.  I had told him to put his dirty clothes and wet towel in the laundry room when he was done so that I could throw them in.  I went in to throw a load in and realized that his towel wasn’t there.  So I asked him where it was, whereupon he informed that he had brought it in with his clothes.  Since I had already done a load of clothes and another of towels, there was nothing else in there except for his things.  I sent him to the bathroom to look for it, and he tells me he can’t find it.  Well, here’s the thing.  Our apartment just isn’t that big, all on one floor, and he had gone directly from the bathroom to the laundry room, all of about 15′.  So I walked down to the bathroom to look and noticed that the top towel on the stack on my rack next to the shower was all jacked up.  I had just folded those, and no one had been in there since I had put them there.  Kind of narrowed it down when I touched it and it was wet.  So I asked him if he had used it, to which he repeatedly said no.  Um, yeah.  After much argument, he admitted to having used it.  At this point, I was thoroughly confused as to why this was something that he felt was lie-worthy.  According to him it was because he had forgotten to bring in one of his own towels, so he had used mine.  Okay, and the problem?  I still don’t get it, but he decided he wasn’t supposed to so he tried to hide it be refolding it and putting it back wet.  So he ended up getting in trouble for lying about something that wouldn’t even have phased me.  Sometimes I just wonder WHY!  I have told all of them a thousand times, that lying only makes them get in more trouble.  And have proven it time and time again.  And yet they continue to lie about STUPID things!  Frustrating!


1. My car is a Chevy TrailBlazer.

2. Ty & Scott’s birthdays are coming up next.

3. Lately, things seem to be majorly frustrating.

4. The bathtub is one of my favorite ‘hiding’ places.

5. What happened to cause all my favorite shows always be cancelled.

6. Losing this butt of mine is not impossible!

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I’m looking forward to chillaxing, tomorrow my plans include renting some movies and Sunday, I want to sleep in!

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3 responses to “Yard apes, man parts, & memes

  1. Selina

    It sounds like jock itch (tinea cruris)and you can get a spray at the drug store that will take care of it. Lots of kids, athletes, sweaty guys get it. Comes from have all the man bits pressed up against the skin, gets hot and sweaty, the fungal infection set sin an “VIOLA” (as my son likes to say) you ahve comlpete misery in their underpants!

  2. Oh, I do hope Ty feels better soon!

    And I know what you mean about tv shows getting canceled — it always seems to be the ones I like — very frustrating!


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