5.3.2021 | Monday

the undeniable meh

category: Pondering Life
1 Comment

reading time: 2 minutes

I am so tired lately that it’s zapped me of motivation to do much of anything but chill. Which is not very helpful for the creative process and writing, which is a necessary part of well, being a writer. Physically tired, mentally tired… all of the tired!

I think most of it is because of my general sense of malaise. (Which is a great word that I don’t think is used often enough these days!) My neck and back pain have been out of control, ever worsening. Imagine a vice crushing your neck, and The Rock punching you repeatedly in the lower back. Now multiply that by ten, carry the five, and take it to the power of three. Okay, so that was wordy… but I think I made my point. Bottom line, there isn’t a moment of the day or night when I’m not hurting. Which sucks lemons. (I detest lemons, so I feel like this is apt.) It’s pretty damn draining. Yoga helps, but since I first busted a toe (which is still healing) and then busted a finger (which is also still healing), that’s a tad on the impossible side. Of course, even when I don’t have broken bits, I’m not exactly a graceful yoga swan! Aw, how I remember the days when I was graceful. That was before the Army and age took their toll on my body.

So, yeah. Meh. But it’s not all meh.

The rainy season in lovely Hawai’i has ended. That translates to more beach days for me. There is nothing more soul-cleansingly wonderful than chilling on my mat, my toes in the sand with the ocean in front of me, reading a book. I thank all there is that I live in this place, a far cry from my native northern New York. This is where my soul belongs.

And I get my second COVID shot on Monday, and then so do my two youngest. Then we will all be one happy vaccinated family. It’s been an interesting year, being largely stuck at home, thanks to health issues that made the Coronapocalypse and the outside world a scary place. It hasn’t been bad by any stretch. Hell, I’m grateful for the life I was able to still have over the year. But the one thing I’ve missed is the “Adventures in Eating” dates my husband I had pre-COVID.

Hawaii is a food mecca, and I miss travelling the island and trying new restaurants. I have a whole list for when it’s finally possible!

NOTE: I just read this post back before publishing it, and I realized it’s a bit of a ramble. So thanks for going on this journey with me and staying to the end. I did warn you I was exhausted, though!

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One response to “the undeniable meh

  1. I’m so sorry you’re in such pain all the time, Kim. Time sure does catch up on us, you’re right :) I would love to visit Hawaii again. We went to Kauai in Feb/19. It was beyond amazing. I’m still waiting for my first vaccine. Hopefully soon. I’m waiting on Pfizer or Moderna. Could have had the AZ one… but… no, that one makes me uneasy. :-)

    May the 4th Be With You today ;o) xxoo


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