6.4.2009 | Thursday

Hi, my name is Rudolf!

category: Bitches & Moans, Daily Drama, Kid Tales, Mama Drama
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1 Comment

reading time: 2 minutes

I am too sexy for my nose!
Yesterday was the annual 5th and 6th grade track meet at the high school, Ka’lani’s last year of it.  So, being the dutiful track mom that I am, I headed over for part of the day.  The high school track team had to work at it so Donovan and Ka’lani were both out there all day.  By the end of it, they were both doing fine imitations of lobsters.  I, however, ended up with owl eyes, thanks to sunglasses, and a beautiful, red, shiny nose.  So sexy.  At least those two were uniformly red/  No, not me.  I’d share a picture, but apparently I am too good with the green concealer because you can’t see it now that I have makeup on!  But trust me when I tell you it is a hot look!

Children are instruments of insanity!
I truly think that I may lose my mind!  Having to argue over and over again about the same stupid things is just freakin’ exhausting, frustrating, and annoying as all living hell.  This morning, it was either I hit something, or do what I did.  While flat ironing my hair, I made horrible and hideous faces at myself and silently screamed.  Didn’t really accomplish much, but it amused me.  Where is that pink straitjacket?!

Is that Dantes’ Inferno?  No, it’s just my poor foot!
I decided that my foot is about as good as it is going to get so I went for a walk this morning after the insanity makers children went to school.  This poor foot has been through its own personal hell.  It started in basic and an unfortunate tangle with a torture device on the obstacle course.  It was a monkey bars, about 10′ in the air, but the rungs twisted instead of staying stable.  The idea was agility and speed.  All great, except it was raining, making it more treacherous.  I fell and dislocated it in 6 places.  It was right near the end and I did NOT want to get held back because I had to be at college, so I sucked it up and didn’t tell anyone or do anything about it until I had done everything I needed to to graduate.  Then I ended up in a cast for 10 weeks.  Add the damage then to the years of running and hardcore physical stuff I did during my stint as GI Jane, and my foot was as sturdy as a Twinkie in places!  Nice image, huh?!  I ended up having two major surgeries on it within 6 months in 2001, and was left with permanent damage.  Then about 6 months ago, I had massive pain and discovered I had an evulsion fracture.  The lovely MD wouldn’t listen to me at all, and it ended up worse.  It still hurts sometimes, but I seem to be out of options since she refuses to listen.  And my ass and I hate each other.  So I went walking this morning, about 2 miles, with Justin, the guys from Metallica, and a few other hotties.  It was 0715 and no one was around and it was beautiful.  But I hurt, at least my foot does.  But if it makes my ass go, I will deal with it!

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One response to “Hi, my name is Rudolf!

  1. Selina

    Squats ahve been the key to my ass disappearing and they dont hurt the feet!!! They make my ass and quads hurt and make me look funny when I sit down or stand up, but they work!


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