I have been neglecting my blog lately, and I should know better. Even if no one else can see the words that I write, I should be writing them, releasing them, letting them go.
I’ve been a bit overwhelmed lately. Not really with any one thing, but with life itself. Fortunately, I recognized it for what it was, the start of a downward spiral. Apparently recognizing it and doing something about it before it got out of control was the key. That is something new for me, since usually I tend to ignore the signs. Usually I am too wrapped up in everything and everyone else and never take the time to take care of myself until it is too late. So I took a step back to breathe and rejuvenate. That meant finding my own space a little and doing anything and everything I could to lessen the stress.
That is something that I suck at… taking care of myself. I’m trying but it always seems like there is something going on that needs to be taken care of. Someone always needs something. And I guess I am so used to taking care of everyone and everything that now it almost seems selfish to step back and indulge myself. This is something I need to get past, and quickly!
Of course, the nonstop pain from hell that I have been going through really doesn’t help. It just brings me down and it makes all of the bad stuff seem that much worse. It’s exhausting, pain. It’s there from morning to night and there is just no moment when I am not in pain. It’s just there, all the time. It’s draining, physically and mentally.
But taking a step back helped. It doesn’t make the physical pain go away, but it helped rejuvenate me a little. Now if I can just get in the habit.