There are days when I just want to pull my hair out by the roots and call it a day. Today is one of those days, and if I hadn’t just laid down some $$ for a spiffy new hair cut, I probably would be doing just that. I read these mom blogs sometimes that are all flowers and sunshine and I just have to wonder how much they are sanitized for public consumption. Because there is no way that motherhood is that idyllic!
Sometimes I wonder just what is going on inside my children’s brains that stops them from learning from their mistakes. There are some things that shouldn’t have to be a daily battle with them. It isn’t like I am springing new rules on them out of nowhere or expecting them to read my mind. We are talking about things that have been in place FOREVER. Why is it so hard?! I feel like I spend my entire life repeating myself and lecturing them and it is exhausting. How the hell hard is it to put your dirty laundry in the laundry basket? Our place isn’t that big and it is never more than a 10′-12′ walk from wherever they could be to the laundry room. You have to pass it to get from either bathroom or any bedroom to the living room, playroom or kitchen. It isn’t like they have to go up or down flights of stairs or out of their way. What the hell?!
And putting away their clean clothes, how hard is that? They each have their own basket of clean laundry waiting for them at the end of the day. Everything is folded, pants stacked with pants, shirts with shirts, etc. All they have to do is transfer folded stuff from the basket to drawers and maybe hang up a shirt or two. THAT IS IT! Not exactly the most difficult thing to do. The insides of their dressers, especially Scott’s and Ka’lani’s, look like a bomb hit them. Then again, so does their room. There are clothes all over the tops of the dressers, on the floor of the closet, in piles here and there on the floor, usually mixed with dirty stuff. Donovan’s idea of putting away clothes half the time is dumping the basket in his chair and calling it a day.
I just had the youngest three pick up and organize the playroom this weekend and already it looks like hell. They have two shelving units complete with 8 bins for toys and they are all nicely labeled. Yet somehow they cannot grasp the concept of putting something back where you got it. I couldn’t make it any easier for them and it still makes no difference whatsoever. I walked in last night and all the wrappers from their afterschool snacks were on the floor. WTF? What did they do, just toss them on the floor when they were done? Do we live in a freaking barn?! The kitchen garbage is less than 8′ from them.
I also think they need hearing aids, especially Scott and Ka’lani. I can’t count the number of times that I have said something to them and I have gotten the standard “sorry”, usually said in a slightly drawn out whiny voice, clearly not having registered WHAT I actually said to them. I will ask them what I said and they can’t even tell me, so they obviously just whip out the sorries to shut me up. The other one I love is when I ask Ka’lani to do something and he says okay. Then he doesn’t do it and I ask him why later. I always get one of two answers. Either he forgot (and I think he is too young for senility) or he didn’t hear me. That last one always gets me. How can he stand there and tell me he didn’t hear me when I spoke to him and he responded? If he didn’t hear me than how was he able to say “okay”?! Uh, duh. Kid, you may not have paid attention, but you had to have heard me.
God, I am so sick of the constant battles. There are times when I just want to run for the hills just to get a little peace. I am so sick of the laziness and the attitude and the fact that I have to constantly go at it with them. I don’t even know what to do anymore. I spend my time either want to shriek at them or wanting to slam my head against a wall.
Oh, I hear you loud and clear. I don’t know how some families manage to be so . . . tidy. It infuriates me that we can’t be.
I think the only solution – and I’ve not become brave or heartless enough to do this but Bryan constantly advocates for it – is to THROW ALL OF THEIR THINGS AWAY. Gone. Forever. Done. (or put them in storage somewhere)
Allow them to reintroduce items one at a time. So – he has put his laundry (consisting of three changes of clothes) away every day for a month. Now he can have another change of clothes in his wardrobe.
I did go through MB’s room a few years back in a fit of exasperation and hurled mounds of stuff downstairs until she was left with just 4 changes of weekday clothes and a couple of Sunday dresses and her porcelain dolls.
I don’t know how she fit so much junk in there. Our stairway was jammed with a pile spilling out knee deep 8 feet into the living room. I kid you not!
The cure did not take, though. Her room almost immediately became a fire hazard again. Our house is still a disaster area. I tripped over her boots three times this morning alone. Maybe I need to hire a clutter Nazi who will slap my kids with a riding crop when they leave their stuff hanging around so that I don’t have to scream so much.
The stereotypical mommy bloggers are slowly turning around to not be, :lol:, if that makes any sense. I read more and more “If that kid says one more thing, I’m gonna kill him” lately than anything else, :)
*hugs*
I hope it gets better. Duct tape works *great*
Motherhood is not all flowers and sunshine that is for sure. And yes, duct tape does work great. i don’t know how you do it anyway with 4 … good luck hun and it will get easier i think lol. loves ya!
Hang in there..don’t yell, don’t lecture, just state what you expect from them and decide beforehand what consequences will be (while you are calm). And even when things ran smoothly for us, that didn’t prevent our little country bumpkins from hiding a goat in their closet or getting a 350 lb. pig drunk. Kids are people, look ’em in the eye and find things to share with them that you like about them :)
And be of good comfort, for one day they will have kids..and that’s Karma..
O.K. I have to know more about the drunken 350 pound pig. How much alcohol does that take anyway?
The kids confessed to a large, dusty bottle of wine they’d found in the cabinet and a healthy bit of rum. Their reasoning was that they would be able to catch Maggie easier if she was “mellow” and return her to the pen without us realizing she’d been let out.
Needless to say, this cost the kids 5 hours of garden labor each, spread over a week’s time to restore the kitchen garden to shape, lol.
They complied cheerfully while contemplating their next mischief.
As for Nanny, she was convinced she was a dog…so..there it went. The daily journals I kept for years are much treasured now :)
That is the funniest thing I have EVER read!
Love it! Goodness, I’m glad you and Tripp were so good! hugs
Laundry in the floors and in the closet floors and just about anywhere else they can pile it is a constant battle here, too. I completely understand your battle. I’m tired of fighting with them over it. When I find dirty clothes in our front bathroom (which is the one guests would use), I just throw them back into their bedrooms and close the door. If they are out of jeans, or socks, or their favorite shirts isn’t clean…tough sh**!!! They’ll figure it out. I’m done picking up after them and asking and pleading! I don’t know what else to do! :)
It runs in the blood line – many a male has that problem. Remember your father telling you “wait until you have kids?” Karma is a b**** :O) Selective hearing is a trait many of us have and even hearing aids don’t help ….